The Rockin Johnny B

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Oh, those pesky Democrats who ruin our economy

Sooooo, lemme see if I got this correct. That pesky Barack Obama is driving this nation into the brink of bankruptcy with his fiscal policies...right?

Hmmmm. Let's really take a look at that statement.

Our $14.3 Trillion National Debt Who/What/When Accumulated?
1.0 trillion
Left over WWII war debt
1.9 Trillion
Reagan 1981-1989 Peacetime defense spending and tax cuts
1.5 trillion
Clinton 1993-2001 deficit spending before surpluses
6.1 Trillion
Bush 2 2001-2009 Tax Cuts, 2 wars, Medicare Part D, Economic downturn 2001 and Recession starting 2007
2.4 Trillion
Obama 2009-2011 Stimulus, Tax cuts and Effects of 2007-2009 Recession
US, THE PUBLIC: individuals, corporations, pensions, mutual funds, banks, state and local governments.
1.2 Trillion
.9 Trillion
2.1 Trillion
Other Countries
1.6 Trillion
Federal Reserve System
2.7 Trillion
Social Security Funds
1.9 Trillion
Other U.S. Government Trust Funds.
Source: New York Times
“Charting the American Debt Crisis”

What does all this mean? Well, the first thing you notice is that the Asiatic nations are not the biggest holders of our debts. The biggest is, the American Individuals, hold the largest share of the debt. The government owes us $3.6 trillion dollars. This money was taken from us to fund wars and defense issues, that is, wars.

The second largest holder of our debt is out Social Security program. The Fed borrowed $2.7 trillion from this program. This is money we socked into the program for our retirement and the government used it to fund their wars.

Four point two trillion is owed to foreign countries who loaned us money to pay for our wars, recessions, deficit spending by out government.

The other $3.8 trillion is owed to other U.S. Government Trust Funds and the Federal Reserve System.

It would seem that whenever the government needs money, they rob Peter to pay Paul and this practice has gotten us in a heap of trouble. Now, somebody has to pay the vig. Who do you think that's gonna be? You're right. Us. The only way the government can get money is to either print it, or get it from taxes on the American People. If they print it, then the value of a dollar goes down and it takes more money to pay down the debt. If they raise taxes – which, by the way, is what is going to happen – then we the people have less money to spend thereby slowing the economy and increasing the recession.

The other way, an even worse way, is to cut spending. And were do you supposes these cuts are traditionally taken? Right again. Social Programs and that means Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security. Which, by the way, is where the government already owes $2.7 trillion dollars and has damn near bankrupted the program, in the process. Whenever you cut spending, someone gets hurt [usually the people who can least afford it]. Invariably the poor and disenfranchised are the ones who pay the debts rang up by the fed. The reason this happens is simple – poor people have no voice, therefore, they create no stink. Imagine if you will, that the president came out and said: “I've decided the way to pay back that $14.3 trillion dollars is to double up on corporation tax and to charge the rich a 60% increase in their personal income tax. Plus, we will raise taxes across the board on anyone who owns over 2 acres of property within the boarders of the United States.” Do you think there would be a couple of voices raised? How likely do you think it would be that this initiative would pass Congress and the Senate? And yet very few bat an eye if the government cuts the incomes of the poor and needy among us. Instead the president would be called a Socialistic Monster for even bringing up the subject of asking the 'Haves' to chip in what they definitely can afford. It does seem to amplify the saying, “he who holds the gold makes the rules.” Or as my Republican friends would say, “money talks, bullshit walks.

Republicans, in case you didn't know it, believe in Social Darwinism. If you cannot produce, then you are not a Real American and need to be “PUT DOWN.” Then they label themselves devout Christians and believe in the Teaching of Jesus. Course their Jesus is a Republican.

Who the hell is Republican Jesus™?

Republican Jesus™ is very different than the Jesus you and I are familiar with. First off, he is White. Not just white, but White. Republican Jesus™ has a special place in his heart for America. Specifically, White America. Do you doubt this? Ask yourself why anyone who believes in a colorblind Jesus would even conceive of praying for the death of Obama? No, only those who follow Republican Jesus™ would even think that such a prayer could, or should, be answered. If you are currently thinking that racism has nothing to do with the unprecedented hatred of Obama, go away, I’m talking to the grownups.

Republican Jesus™, by the way, is a big supporter of the Confederacy. Why he let them lose the War of Northern Aggression is a mystery. But all “real” Americans know that the South will rise again and Republican Jesus™ will lead the way back to glory. Or something like that.  How the Northern and Mid-western Red states fit into this Southern revival is also a mystery.

Republican Jesus™ loves guns. Loves them! Never mind all that silly talk of beating swords into plowshares! Every good member of the church of Republican Jesus™ should have, at minimum, enough armament to hold off an invasion by those commie Nazi liberal hordes that are coming any day now. Or the ATF, whichever shows up first. Or maybe just enough to wipe out a schoolroom filled with kids when their excellent parenting skills manifest themselves in the next Columbine tragedy.

Remember, conservatives, to complain about anti-bullying programs being government overreach afterward!

Republican Jesus™ loves the rich. Ignore that whole “camel through the eye of a needle” garbage. Republican Jesus™ wants you to be prosperous! It’s called “prosperity theology” and it percolates throughout the conservative religious fervor. God rewards the faithful with material wealth. Very spiritual stuff. If your idea of spiritual is a McMansion.
But Republican Jesus™ is not just about love. Republican Jesus™ also hates and, boy, does he hate!

Republican Jesus™ hates the poor. This is the flip side of “prosperity theology”. If God rewards the faithful with riches, than the poor are obviously NOT of the faith and deserve what they get. This is, in part, why conservatives hate the social safety nets of welfare, food stamps and Medicaid. Those (and by “those” I mean those) people don’t worship Republican Jesus™ and are unworthy of being helped. Besides if you feed them, they’ll just breed!
Republican Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer of South Carolina actually said that. And he meant it.
Republican Jesus™ hates The Gay. They’re sinners, after all.  It says so right there in the Bible next to the part about shellfish being an abomination.  Nothing demonstrates the compassionate conservatives’ dedication to the teachings of Republican Jesus™ like blocking legislation for same sex marriage and calling homosexuals pedophiles while enjoying a nice shrimp cocktail before a delicious lobster dinner.

Also, Republican Jesus™ gave us AIDS, and STDs in general, as punishment for homosexuality. Of course, this ignores the fact that lesbians (a well-known subset of homosexuality) have the lowest rate of STDs, including AIDS, among all adult population groups. So as far as punishment goes, half of the “sinners” are better off than the rest of us, statistically speaking. Maybe Republican Jesus™ likes him some girl on girl action?
Republican Jesus™ hates Muslims. Muslims are scary because some of them do bad things to innocent people. That makes them all evil terrorists. This is not to be confused with White Christian Militia types who blow up abortion clinics or plot political assassinations in Republican Jesus’™ name. Those people are martyrs and heroes. Or they were crazy lone wolves having nothing to do with Republican Jesus™. It depends on which channel you’re interviewing on, Fox or MSNBC.

Republican Jesus™ totally hates Liberals. Liberals are the pawns of Satan George Soros trying to destroy the greatest country ever made on this 6000 year old planet (conservative moderates are almost as bad and must be expunged!). Compromising with a Liberal is a terrible sin in the eyes of Republican Jesus™ and must not be tolerated.

Finally, Republican Jesus™ hates science. With a passion bordering on obsession. And that’s the topic of my next ivory tower snobby liberal thesis: “Why DO conservatives hate science so much?” Or “How I learned not to learn and trust my beer gut instead.” [taken from: Justin Rosario]

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