The Rockin Johnny B

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Funny stuff

Beware of that ‘killer’ storm water, Nampa
   I just mailed the check for “storm water” nonsense to the city of Nampa. What an exercise in total futility.
   “Stormwater” — horrors, new discovery — water runs downhill. It no longer soaks into the ground, so charge the people. It’s contaminating everything — the mosquitoes and earwigs and beetles and flies, all other bugs and birds and mice and gophers and wharf rats and pack rats and squirrels and crows and magpies and (we all know how important they are) fish and frogs and fish worms are all being decimated by this uncontrolled doom of “storm water.”
   It could have been labeled rainwater, but that is far too casual. Storm water conjures up much more frightening consequences because this is doomsday en route.
   High desert Nampa — so vulnerable. No time to lose; we must be quick to protect the environment.
   Rain from heaven, formerly called a blessing, is now designated “storm water,” so grab your boots, umbrella, shovel, paddle and whatever else you may need to assuage the waves of turbid and rainy runoff likely to inundate you and your dwelling!
   Oh, by the way, as you’re slogging out the door, bring your “checkbook.” It’s guaranteed to keep you high and dry.
   n Wendell Bartlow, Nampa

Oh Wendell, satire?  Very good m'friend.  I hope people recognize it.

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